Behavior Management

Several of you have asked for help with behavioral issues in your classroom. Unfortunately, there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach to managing behaviors, but there are some "big picture" things to keep in mind.

First, in an effort to be proactive and prevent problems from occurring in the first place, be positive, warm and encouraging. Second, provide the children with a lot of choices. You can control the choices, but make sure that you are allowing children to have some control over their day. Third, be clear and direct, and don't use too many words (children will get confused so keep it simple).

I went to the Conscious Discipline Website and found a ton of great information. It's a great resource and everyone should check it out. I found the information that is below on the site, and I copied and pasted it from here:

http://www.consciousdiscipline.com/resources/challenging_behavior.asp

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When two kids are fighting, what should I do?

First, breathe deeply and affirm, “I’m safe. Keep breathing. I can handle this,” so you can approach the children calmly. I heard a coach once start a story about breaking up a schoolyard fight by saying, “I knew I really had the composure thing down pat when I noticed myself automatically breathing and saying, “I’m safe, keep breathing, I’ve got this,” in my head as I sprinted across the court to get to Marcus and Jacob.”

Physically separate the children and assertively say, “Stop.” Breathe and focus on maintaining the inner state you want both children to return to. Encourage them to take a deep breath. Say, “Breathe with me,” and help them calm themselves. Next, get down to their eye-level and say, “Both of you seem so angry. Something must have happened.” Let each child know you will listen to her story. Ask the first child, “Something must have happened?” in a questioning tone. Offer support to the second child by positioning yourself next to her and putting your hand on her shoulder as you listen. The second child will often interrupt, “But she…” Reassure her by keeping your hand on her shoulder and saying, “It’s hard to wait your turn. You will get a turn when she’s finished.” When the first child has finished, restate what she said to get clarification, offer empathy and reframe the situation with positive intent. “You were angry because she took your hat. You wanted it back and forgot to ask.” Then reposition yourself next to the first child and ask the second child to share. Restate, clarify, offer empathy and reframe with positive intent. “You were upset about what she said on the bus and didn’t know other ways to let her know.”


Step 1: Ask, “Did you like it when she_____?”
Step 2: She responds “NO!”
Step 3: Set the limit on the hurtful act and include choices for the next time: “You may not grab someone’s hat. Grabbing is hurtful. The next time you want her to know you are upset with something she said, say, ' I didn’t like it when you said_____.' Next time please say or do _____. Or come ask me for help.” 

Step 4: Say it now for practice.
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